Since I'm in the journalism field, I rarely read anything but my own stuff, but on the off chance a newspaper fell at my feet, I picked it up and saw a headline: Senator Roy Ashburn says "He's gay."
And I smoke marijuana because it's medicine. Whatever.
Where do these journalists get this stuff. We know the man was drinking that night, he was drunk when he said it.
I mean you don't spend your whole career bashing gays only to become one the year you're quitting. Do you?
He is quitting right? (Brett Farve?)
Anyway, then I run into a friend who is talking about this story, and I ask, "do you think Barney Frank is gay too?"
Whatever the look, it was frankly rude I thought.
Everyone knows Frank came out as gay just to get some of that gay demographic. He was one of the first campaign geniuses to use that fallacy to reform campaigning.
Now, if Frank, who looks more like a football player than a ballet dancer, can pull off this ruse than anyone can, and many have.
However, Mr. Ashburn, is somehow using this gay thing at the end of his career.
If these damn journalists would take their time to investigate that politicians rarely go gay at the end of their careers, there's no pay off.
It could be as simple as Ashburn forgot his glasses which you see him wearing in every picture, am I not right, and went into this bar, didn't read the sign, "ladies night, free ladies" hopped in his car with his free lady who turns out to be a man.
The cops give him a hard time. Could be some pyschological damage, now he thinks he's gay, yet, he forgot his glasses. I think it's typical, they call it something like, his name is, yeah, "gerrymandering."
What silliness. I apologize.
(let's not think there isn't another explanation. The gay underground got to him. That's another possibility. You know what I'm saying.)
Just a few warnings for politicians during election year: (might keep you safe)
Keep your hands to yourself
If you're feeling gay, wait until after the election, and keep your hands to yourself
Don't email anything sexual (unless you are a radio broadcaster like Rush Limbaugh) that can come back on you
Cell phones are a bad place to store your mistresses phone number, whether you're the husband or the wife
So, basically, no porn and popcorn, keep your hands to yourself, don't switch from gay to straight or vise verse until after the election. It's a cinch.
I'm pretty sure it's not that tough to handle this. If I were your campaign manager, that would certainly be my advice.
And to Mr. Ashburn: I guess now we know what your plans are after your political career is over? (I'm only assuming, he's been pretty quiet about that too)...okay...sorry.
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